Wonky

Wonky
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door sprite
Chronological information
First game	Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (2004)
Game appearances	Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Personal information
Gender	Male
Homeland	Rogueport

"HOWWWWWWWWDEEEEEEE! My name's Wonky, and I just know stuff! I may not look much, but I know a thing or two, you'd better believe it! And who knows? The stuff I know may be stuff that could help you! So, if you want to ask me a question, just speak up, and ask away!"

—Wonky

Wonky is a minor character who appears in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. He is only seen at the bar in Rogueport Sewers. He is known for his famous tales that he is willing to tell for a small price.

Physical description

Wonky wears swirly glasses and a blue jacket. He is most notable for his egg-shaped design and always having a large smile on his face.

Wonky's Tales

Here is the list of Wonky's many tales. They usually have significance to the main story itself.

Amazee Dayzee

• Wonky Quote: "I've heard tales of an Amazee Dayzee, a truly rare breed among Dayzees...They're worth oddles of Star Points, but they're timid and tend to run fast. Still, I bet if you if you kept visiting the same area, you could meet one again..."
• What Wonky Means: Amazee Dayzee's are indeed one of the rarest enemies that can be encountered in the Paper Mario series. However, usually when fighting one, they run away on the first turn. There is a chance to meet one by keep visiting the same area over and over again. Amayzee Dayzee's in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door are only found on Twilight Trail. Defeating an Amazee Dayzee in battle yields 20 Star Points which is the most a single enemy can give up from battle.

Battle Techniques

• Wonky Quote: "I hear the best way to fill your battle crowd up is to succeed at Action Commands. Especially when you succeed several in a row. Hoo! I hear THAT'S great! Also, beating enemies quickly and striking first can build your crowd, too. That might be good to remember."
• What Wonky Means: Successfully performing the Action Command is a way to help get the audience excited and fill up the Star Meter. Getting First Strikes against enemies and executing Stylish Moves help too.

Behind the Trouble Center

• Wonky Quote: "So there's that Trouble Center on Rogueport's east side, right... Well, only a few people know about the back entrance to it... Hey, I'm not saying there's anything good in there, but it may worth a look."
• What Wonky Means: Once Flurrie has been acquired, Mario can head down the alleyway on the east side of Rogueport with Paper Thiness and use Flurrie's ability to blow away an hidden entrance to the Trouble Center. It is then revealed that one of Ishnail's members is running the Trouble Center.

Big Door

• Wonky Quote: "Well, you know, there's a really big door down here. I've only seen it once myself, but... If there's really some legendary treasure down here, it's behind that door... Yeah, when I saw it, I got the feeling there was bad stuff going on down there... In fact, I've been too heebie-jeebied to get near that door ever since..."
• What Wonky Means: Wonky is referring to The Thousand Year Door and the legendary treasure. He mentioned that he felt evil vibes down there so it's assumed he's actually talking about the Shadow Queen and the Palace of Shadow.

Charmer

• Wonky Quote: "You know, there's a charmer named Merlee down here somewhere... If you get her to charm you, you'll get good stuff in battle. Not only that, but she's a total babe... Ol' Wonky would LOVE to get a date with her! I'm serious. You have to check her out sometime.
• What Wonky Means: If Mario visits Merlee under East Rogueport and pay her a certain amount of coins, then she will aid Mario randomly in battle. This could prove useful when trying to complete the Pit of 100 Trials.

Chet Rippo

• Wonky Quote: "There's a weird guy named Chet Rippo who lives down here somewhere. I hear he'll lower one stat and raise another for you if you want. And he can even power one of your partners down to power up another... He may be spendy, but I'm sure it's worth it..."
• What Wonky Means: Chet Rippo, known for being a con artist from the original Paper Mario, can now be found in his house under East Rogueport. However, one must acquire Bobberty from Chapter 5 first. Chet Rippo can now lower one of Mario's stats to raise another. He can also power down a partner to make another stronger all for a price of course.

Cold Place's Secret

• Wonky Quote: "There's a pipe down here that leads to a very cold place, 'ol Wonky hears... And if you jump in front of the tree to the far right of the area you come out in... Then you get something nice, supposedly. But you won't catch ol' Wonky out in a chilly place like that, no sir!"
• What Wonky Means: Under West Rogueport, there is a blue pipe that leads to the snowy area leading to Fahr Outpost. In the first area (with the Save Block), there is a tree right before the next area. If Mario jumps a number of times, a hidden block will appear containing the Double Dip P badge.

Couple's Cake

• Wonky Quote: "You know Zess T., in the square, I'm sure. The girl with the mean cooking talent. Well, she's got a secret recipe called the Couple's Cake. Cute name, huh? To make it, she needs a Snow Bunny and Spicy Soup... If you bring her both, she'll make it, at least that's what ol' Wonky hears. By the way, a Snow Bunny is made from a Golden Leaf and an Ice Storm... And Spicy Soup is made from a Fire Flower and a Dried Bouquet. Even so, I hear that this recipe really reminds me of her late husband... So she doesn't make it for anybody. I wonder how she feels about you?"
• What Wonky Means: The Couple's Cake can be made from and Snow Bunny and a Spicy Soup. Remember that Mario must have already given the Cookbook to Zess T. in order to create it. Eating a Couple's Cake heals 2 HP in battle over time.

Creepy Steeple's Secret

• Wonky Quote: "There's a wacky old place called Creepy Steeple in this land... And if you jump on the fourth step from the top, ol' Wonky hears you get a good thing. I don't know how useful that is, but hey, it's worth a shot."
• What Wonky Means: At the steps in front of the door leading into the Creepy Steeple, if Mario jumps in that spot, he will reveal a hidden block that only contains a coin.

Final Tale

• Wonky Quote:"I heard this one from my ol' grampa... It's a legend about one who will come to this town some day in the future. He will come when the sky grows dark again... Clothed in red and blue, the hero will bear seven stars and face the darkness... I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I see that you wear red and blue. If the hero turned out to be you... Well, I guess that would be a bit much, huh?"
• What Wonky Means: Wonky is indeed referring to Mario himself who always dresses in his trademark red shirt and blue overalls. Mario is on a quest to retrieve the seven Crystal Stars in order to face the darkness (referring to the Shadow Queen).

Finding Star Pieces

• Wonky Quote: "You've heard of Star Pieces, of course... Yes, they're no less than pieces of actual stars that have fallen to earth... They're so pretty and shiny that anyone who stumbles on one turns into a collector. If you want to find some, just check out all the nooks of each area you visit. They always seem to be slightly hidden, know what I mean?"
• What Wonky Means: Star Pieces are rather common items in the game and they can be found in different locations. Some can be found in certain areas or objects like containers but there are some that are hidden underground that require the Spin Jump to help uncover them. Dazzle, a denizen of Rogueport Sewers, collects Star Pieces for a living and Mario can trade them for rare badges that Dazzle has.

Grubba from Glitzville

• Wonky Quote: "So about that Grubba in Glitzville... He went from a mediocre fighter to the ruler of Glitzville in a matter of years. And there's a rumor that it was all because he found a glittering gem somewhere. I don't know what kind of stone it was, but it must've been a nice good-luck charm. Then again, I heard he hasn't been seen recently around Glitzville, so who knows?"
• What Wonky Means: Grubba, in his younger days, was a good competitor but soon started to get worse due to his age. At some point in his life, Grubba found a Crystal Star and invented a device that allows him to harness the star's power in order to drain the life force from younger competitors keeping Grubba in his prime. He soon became the owner of the Glitz Pit and ruled over Glitzville. After Grubba has been defeated by Mario, he isn't seen around Glitzville again with his assistant, Jolene, taking over his role.

Horsetails

• Wonky Quote: "You've been to Petal Meadows, haven't you? Well, they have those blue- and grey-striped poles called Candy Pops all over, right? I heard that one of those will give you a Horsetail if you hit it ten times... You should go try that out sometime."
• What Wonky Means: There are objects called Candy Canes that can only be found in Petal Meadows where they will produce Horsetails after hammering them 10 times. This can be done as many times as possible just by leaving and re-entering the area. Horsetails only heal 3 FP in battle but they are very useful in a wide variety of dishes.

How to Save Money

• Wonky Quote: "Did you notice that you can only carry up to 999 coins? Well, if you ever want to collect more you should buy Gold Bars at the shop near here and then store them at the shop, where you can convert them back to coins anytime. They may sell for slightly less than you buy them for, but it's better than losing all the coins you wouldn't be able to pick up, right?"
• What Wonky Means: As Wonky states, the maximum amount of coins that Mario can carry is 999 and there isn't a type of banking system in the game that allows him to store any more away. Instead, Mario can purchase Gold Bars from a shop nearby Wonky and then store the Gold Bars away. However, selling the Gold Bars back is a bit less than how much Mario had to purchase them for, but it is an effective method to save money when necessary. This is no longer an issue in the remake as Mario can now hold up to 9999 coins.

Lahla's Private Life

• Wonky Quote: "You know Lahla, the cute receptionist at the Pianta Parlor? She never gets too personal from beyond those iron bars, because it's, like, business... But if you get in there and talk with her, she's a totally different person! You should get in there and see how good your game is, Mr. Popular!"
• What Wonky Means: Lahla, the receptionist at the Pianta Parlor, is all business from the front of the counter. However, if Mario uses the Paper Thinness ability to slip past the iron bars and speaks to her directly, she acts more open and upbeat.

Legend of Rogueport

• Wonky Quote: "You've heard about the legendary treasure hidden beneath Rogueport, right? Apparently it's the vast fortune of that ancient, forgotten civilization... Most people think that's just a silly old myth now, of course. But not Wonky! According to my sources, it's the real deal. Huh? Who are my sources? Well, I can't really say, can I? That, my friend, is what's called a trade secret!"
• What Wonky Means: Many, mainly Professor Frankly, have spoken there could be many things hidden within the Thousand Year Door. It was speculated that the demon was the treasure, but it was revealed that there was indeed a treasure that Professor Frankly found. However, he would later reveal it was simply a Dried Shroom theorizing it may have once been a powerful Mushroom before it aged away.

• Wonky Quote: "There's a place called Boggly Woods somewhere in this world... And there are small beasts named Punies who live there. Ol' Wonky hears that anyone who sees a Puni will have fortune visited upon them... Some people go to Boggly Woods just to catch a glimpse of a lucky Puni..."
• What Wonky Means: The Punies are a race of creatures that are native to Boggly Woods (specifically the Great Tree). Although there is no direct proof of seeing a Puni grants someone a small fortune. However, Mario was gifted with a Crystal Star upon helping the Punies against the X-Nauts.

Minstrel

• Wonky Quote: "Somewhere here in Rogueport there's a minstrel by the name of Grifty. He knows all the old legends of Rogueport, and he'll tell you interesting tales you've never heard before, I'm pretty sure. So, if you find him, you should definitely listen to at least one."
• What Wonky Means: Grifty is a character that can be found on top of a house in East Rogueport. However, Mario must have had the Mini-Yoshi join him in order to get to Grifty. Much like with Wonky himself, Grifty asks for 5 coins in order to tell bits of the story of the Four Heroes and things relating to it.

Monster's Weaknesses

• Wonky Quote: "There're a lot of mean monsters in this world, but many have weaknesses. Everybody knows that fire monsters are weak against ice and vice versa, but flying monsters are weak against wind, and they tend to get dizzy easily... And sometimes machine- and cloud-monsters can be easier to freeze than most... I've even heard that it's very easy to put Piranha Plants to sleep...I'd say, try out some new things and see if you can find all monsters' weaknesses."
• What Wonky Means: As Wonky states, almost every enemy in the game has certain weaknessess to ailments and elements that Mario can exploit. Fire enemies such as Embers are weak to ice-related things such as Ice Storm and the Ice Power badge and flying enemies such as Koopa Paratroopas can be easily blown away with Flurrie's Gale Force. Piranha Plants are extremely vurnable to sleep as getting hit with a Sleepy Sheep can put them to sleep to up to 5 turns.

Mysterious Troops

• Wonky Quote: "I've gotten word of a strange group skulking about Rogueport recently. They wear masks and weird costumes with an "X" on the front... Talk about kooky. And they're always huddled together mumbling about some treasure. I've even heard that they unearthed some shiny stone down here! Weird..."
• What Wonky Means: Wonky is referring to the X-Nauts that were investigating Rogueport prior to Mario getting there himself. As later revealed by Grodus after Chapter 1, they were successful in finding a Crystal Star and kept it safe on their home base.

Mystic Bag

• Wonky Quote: "You know about the Pit of 100 Trials down here, right? Well, somewhere down there is an item called a Strange Sack. This thing is great. If you've got it, you can hold up to 20 items! And you know what that means, my good friend... Easy adventuring! No adventurer should be without one, take it from ol' Wonky!"
• What Wonky Means: The Strange Sack is a special key item that, as Wonky says, allows Mario to hold up to 20 items making his adventure indeed a little easier. However, this item must be retrieved on the 50th floor of the Pit of 100 Trials requiring Mario to go down there at a higher level if he wants a better shot at getting it.

Omelette Plate

• Wonky Quote: "The most delicious thing ol' Wonky has ever eaten is an Omelette Plate... I remember having it at the hotel at Poshley Heights. It was made by that chef of legend, Maitre Delish... I believe it was made with a Mushroom and a Mystic Egg. Oh, just one more bite... I hear one can actually find that Mystic Egg near the Boggly Woods... It seems the Punies are the only ones who know where to find them..."
• What Wonky Means: An Omelette Plate is a dish that can be created by Zess T. by giving her a Mushroom and a Mystic Egg. Mushrooms can be simply purchased at the item shop in Rogueport, but to acquire a Mystic Egg, Mario was play with Petuni and she will give him a Mystic Egg as a reward.

Pianta Parlor

• Wonky Quote: "There's a game center on the west side of Rogueport run by Don Pianta. There's a hidden game there that few people know about... Only members are allowed to play this special game. Well, that's what ol' Wonky hears. If you want to try it, you'll have to find a Member's Card somewhere..."
• What Wonky Means: The Pianta Parlor, as Wonky states, is a game center located in the west side of Rogueport that was founded by Don Pianta himself. There are special games that can be played that require membership cards. Membership cards can only be obtained by completing certain troubles at the Trouble Center.

Pirate King Cortez

• Wonky Quote: "About a Thousand-Years ago, there was a pirate king called Cortez on these seas. He raided this city often, striking fear into the hearts of its inhabitants, but Cortez was betrayed by one of his crew... Just before he died, he's said to have sailed off with all of his treasure. Then, even after he died, some say his spirit still protects that treasure... But, you know... That's all just hazy legend now."
• What Wonky Means: Cortez was indeed a feared pirate back in the day. However, Cortez was soon killed by one of his crewmates and, before he died, managed to sail off with his treasure. As stated by Cortez himself, his spirit lives on thanks to his desire to keep his treasure to himself.

Wonky Knows Stuff

Trivia

• Wonky's design is very similar to Fawful as both of them wear swirly glasses and are always seen smiling.
• Wonky can appear in the Paper Game.
• In the remake, Wonky now has his own special theme that plays whenever he is telling one of his many tales known as "Wonky Knows Stuff" (listen above).