- "HOWWWWWWWWDEEEEEEE! My name's Wonky, and I just know stuff! I may not look much, but I know a thing or two, you'd better believe it! And who knows? The stuff I know may be stuff that could help you! So, if you want to ask me a question, just speak up, and ask away!"
- ― Wonky Wonky is a minor character that appears in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. He is only seen at the bar in Rogueport Sewers. He is known for his famous tales.
Wonky is an rather odd, looking character. He wears swirly glasses and a blue jacket.
Here is the list of Wonky's many tales. They usually have significance to the main story itself.
- Wonky Quote: "I've heard tales of an Amazee Dayzee, a truly rare breed among Dayzees...They're worth oddles of Star Points, but they're timid and tend to run fast. Still, I bet if you if you kept visiting the same area, you could meet one again..."
- What Wonky Means: Amazee Dayzee's are indeed one of the most rarest enemies in the Paper Mario series. However, usually when fighting one, they run away on the first turn. There is a chance to meet one by keep visiting the same area over and over again. Amayzee Dayzee's in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door are only found on Twilight Trail. Defeating an Amazee Dayzee in battle yields 20 Star Points which is the most a single enemy can give up from battle.
- Wonky Quote: "I hear the best way to fill your battle crowd up is to succeed at Action Commands. Especially when you succeed several in a row. Hoo! I hear THAT'S great! Also, beating enemies quickly and striking first can build your crowd, too. That might be good to remember."
- What Wonky Means: Successfully performing the Action Command is a way to help get the audience excited and fill up the Star Meter. Getting First Strikes against enemies and executing Stylish Moves help too.
Behind the Trouble Center
- Wonky Quote: "So there's that Trouble Center on Rogueport's east side, right... Well, only a few people know about the back entrance to it... Hey, I'm not saying there's anything good in there, but it may worth a look."
- What Wonky Means: Once Flurrie has been acquired, Mario can head down the alleyway on the east side of Rogueport with Paper Thiness and use Flurrie's ability to blow away an hidden entrance to the Trouble Center. It is then revealed that one of Ishnail's members is running the Trouble Center.
- Wonky Quote: "Well, you know, there's a really big door down here. I've only seen it once myself, but... If there's really some legendary treasure down here, it's behind that door... Yeah, when I saw it, I got the feeling there was bad stuff going on down there... In fact, I've been too heebie-jeebied to get near that door ever since..."
- What Wonky Means: Wonky is referring to The Thousand Year Door and the legendary treasure. He mentioned that he felt evil vibes down there so it's assumed he's actually talking about the Shadow Queen and the Palace of Shadow.
- Wonky Quote: "You know, there's a charmer named Merlee down here somewhere... If you get her to charm you, you'll get good stuff in battle. Not only that, but she's a total babe... Ol' Wonky would LOVE to get a date with her! I'm serious. You have to check her out sometime.
- What Wonky Means: If Mario visits Merlee under East Rogueport and pay her a certain amount of coins, then she will aid Mario randomly in battle. This could prove useful when trying to complete the Pit of 100 Trials.
- Wonky Quote: "There's a weird guy named Chet Rippo who lives down here somewhere. I hear he'll lower one stat and raise another for you if you want. And he can even power one of your partners down to power up another... He may be spendy, but I'm sure it's worth it..."
- What Wonky Means: Chet Rippo, known for being a con artist from the original Paper Mario, can now be found in his house under East Rogueport. However, one must acquire Bobberty from Chapter 5 first. Chet Rippo can now lower one of Mario's stats to raise another. He can also power down a partner to make another stronger all for a price of course.
Cold Place's Secret
- Wonky Quote: "There's a pipe down here that leads to a very cold place, 'ol Wonky hears... And if you jump in front of the tree to the far right of the area you come out in... Then you get something nice, supposedly. But you won't catch ol' Wonky out in a chilly place like that, no sir!"
- What Wonky Means: Under West Rogueport, there is a blue pipe that leads to the snowy area leading to Fahr Outpost. In the first area (with the Save Block), there is a tree right before the next area. If Mario jumps a number of times, a hidden block will appear containing the Double Dip P badge.
- Wonky Quote: "You know Zess T., in the square, I'm sure. The girl with the mean cooking talent. Well, she's got a secret recipe called the Couple's Cake. Cute name, huh? To make it, she needs a Snow Bunny and Spicy Soup... If you bring her both, she'll make it, at least that's what ol' Wonky hears. By the way, a Snow Bunny is made from a Golden Leaf and an Ice Storm... And Spicy Soup is made from a Fire Flower and a Dried Bouquet. Even so, I hear that this recipe really reminds me of her late husband... So she doesn't make it for anybody. I wonder how she feels about you?"
- What Wonky Means: The Couple's Cake can be made from and Snow Bunny and a Spicy Soup. Remember that Mario must have already given the Cookbook to Zess T. in order to create it. Eating a Couple's Cake heals 2 HP in battle over time.
Creepy Steeple's Secret
- Wonky Quote: "There's a wacky old place called Creepy Steeple in this land... And if you jump on the fourth step from the top, ol' Wonky hears you get a good thing. I don't know how useful that is, but hey, it's worth a shot.
- What Wonky Means: At the steps in front of the door leading into the Creepy Steeple, if Mario jumps in that spot, he will reveal a hidden block that only contains a coin.
- Wonky's design is very similar to Fawful as both of them wear swirly glasses and are always seen smiling.
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